Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Wishful Thinking {a guest post by Goodnite Irene}


this wishful thinking series has been absolutely stunning. haven't we all been moved by our fellow bloggers' eloquent candor of wishes for more meals to be shared with loved ones, and hopes for a life full of courage and more dreams fulfilled? tears streamed into my coffee the morning i read a sweet mother's wish for a more peaceful heart for her dear daughter, and the illinois country girl's longing for her land had me googling farms.... all beautiful, all deeply profound.
when mel asked me to contribute to this series i was afraid that blonde-haired beauty had imbibed too much napa wine. how could she possibly expect ME to produce a post worthy of past depth and grace?
but after some hermetic, extensive, almost dali lama-like meditation {in fact mr. lama might want to snag some tips from me}, and going way downward-dog deep into the bowels {yes, i said bowels} of my inner buddha, i found the essence of what truly inspires and drives my soul.
i don't mean to sound smug, or overly meta and siddhartha like, but i know if i could just have this one wish, world peace and goodwill toward men would be as easy as vomit and the word “kardashian”.
are you ready?
i wish...........i could eat anything & everything, as much as i want, and not get fat.
there. i said it.
take a moment to fully embrace the enormity and weight of my sage-like invocation.
if you read my blog, you know i have major food issues. i love food. i think about food all the time, and when i'm not thinking about food, i'm trying to eat food.
basketball is not a sport to me, the buffet is my sport. and if i see you at the waffle bar, watch yo'self. i'm gunning for that whipped butter, and i don't care if it IS easter sunday. i’ll cut you.
as for as the types of foods, i don't discriminate. i fancy them all, with abandon and wantonness. give me a cheese plate, and i'm like a cheap slut during fleet week. my one exception is beets. beets were invented by the devil. they taste like dirt, and i'm convinced they are part of some underground terrorist plot..... haven’t you noticed the prevalence of beets in everything these days?? salads, cocktails, ice cream? get the hell out of my food you damned beets!
also, creams, i love creams: sour, whipped, sweet, devonshire, iced, shaving? doesn't matter as long as the letters: c.r.e.a.m. are involved.
all the food i want to eat, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, and still fit into a pair of jeans i bought during “the breakup of 2005” which fit for a total of 9 hours, during which i was probably the most miserable and unattractive i ever been in my entire life. but still those jeans fit, even if i didn’t feel like eating at the time.
if i get a second wish, it might be for an extra hour a week with my psychiatrist.
thank you for letting me share my wednesday with you.
love, katie
I've professed my adoration for Katie on multiple occasions whether via a post or twitter or just singing her praises to any passerby who might listen to me.   And then for her to talk about FOOD ... well, I'm over the moon with this wishful thinking! Obviously, this girl rocks!
 [images 1,2,3,4]

8 comments:

  1. I feel like she's my soul mate....well, except that I love beets!

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  2. this is hilarious. totally laughing out loud and pinching myself to have *met* such a wonderful, funny lady with a knack for using the most perfect words to spin her tales. And yes, she is like my soul mate too because I have announced on more than one occasion that if I could have any superpower it would be to eat whatever I want and never gain any weight. So glad I'm not alone on that crazy wish!! Love Katie and love this blogging community. xoxo, Kristin

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  3. Ha ha ha ha! Oh, Katie. You are adorable and I am SO with you girl! LOL over here and so made my wednesday. YAY! Two fabu ladies in one spot ( you and beautiful Melissa)
    xoxo
    Melis

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  4. Soul Sister is definitely the thought that came to mind over here, too. Oh, lordie, the breakup pants part is just too sweet, as we all have a pair or two stashed away for some future skinny era, right? Lovely, giggleworthy post, Katie.

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  5. I am the choir and you are preaching to me. Amen.

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  6. Well, Katie sounds like a kindred spirit. Can't wait to meet her at ALT and hopefully, eat something sinful!

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  7. Mel, I have one thing to say to you… Bon Appetit!!! :)
    Enjoy those tasty morsels anyway and mostly enjoy the special moments you spend eating them with friends and family.
    I really needed your posts today too :) Your little girl is gorgeous!

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